Q: Dr Amy, I'm 20 years old, but I am a very shy person. A lot of my friends tell me to be patient for a girlfriend and that she will come to me, but I don't want to wait but it seems as if that's what I am doing anyways. For some reason its easier for me to flirt over twitter or facebook, but when it comes to reality i just choke up in those situations where I'm in the spot to make the move. I really don't know if there's anything I can do at this point

Amy: Dear Anonymous, I’d like for you to read an older blog post on a similar topic and follow that advice. That reader was in a similar situation of scared of talking to girls and I believe that the advice I gave him will resonate with you as well.

Although being shy (especially when you’re young) is common, your shyness may also be in part because of fears that feel real, but are completely unfounded (insecurities about yourself, things you are afraid might happen if you approach a girl, etc.). It will really help to go through your fears, evaluating whether they are real or false. In almost every case, you’ll be able to find evidence that your fears are either false, or are based on imaginary situations that you’re fabricating in your mind that may not be true at all.

Also, know that fear is just an emotion and it doesn’t have to dictate your behavior. Lots of people feel fear, but not everyone uses it as a reason to not act. Getting good at talking to girls and dating are skills just like any other and all it ever takes to be good at something is to practice it a lot. Practice talking to girls every opportunity you get. I know it sounds simple (and maybe a bit scary), but the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become.

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