Q: Dear Amy, I met this girl over the summer at my house party for the first time. From the first contact I had with, I could say I liked her. We didn't see each other for quite sometime but the next time we saw each was at my birthday party and we talked and danced for a bit. And since we have the same circle of friends we always ended up running into each other during social gatherings. The next time we met, she gave me her number and we started talking but the conversations weren't anything special. One time at a party, she was drunk and tried to kiss me which I refused and I told her about it and she felt embarrassed. After this incident and as time went by we started getting comfortable around each other and everything lightened up even the conversations where by now we even talk daily.

The one problem I kind of have is that on her Facebook page she says she is in a relationship which I think might not be true. And she knows I like her because our friends tease us about it all the time which we both deny. She gets mad when I interact with other girls when she's around. I like and I respect so I wouldn't do anything stupid but it can go on for long because I feel like I'm already in a relationship when I'm not even in one. I want to tell her how I feel about her but for all the right reasons. Things are great between between us and I would not want to jeopardize our friendship and I also don't want to not say anything and regret later. Sorry it is long. - K.B

Amy: Dear K.B., I’m confused about her Facebook status. Why would she say she is in a relationship if she’s not? Is she referring to her relationship with you? Or do you think there is even a chance she has another boyfriend?

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with the two of you but I would absolutely ask her about this relationship she is supposedly in. You have to get to the bottom of that—it shouldn’t jeopardize your friendship at all to get some clarity around that. I would think that you need to know about that before you say anything to her about how you feel.

Once you figure out what relationship she’s in, my thought is that you should tell her exactly how you feel. Of course you have to ultimately do what feels right to you, but I’m guessing you have a lot of friends so I wouldn’t worry so much about potentially losing this friendship. If your conversation with her turns awkward and the friendship can’t survive that, then the friendship wasn’t so strong to begin with. Since you’ve liked her since the day you met, your relationship is much more romantic than pure friendship anyway. Good luck.

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