Q: Hi Amy. So yeah I've been with my boyfriend now for over a year and I love him with all my heart. When we first started talking we constantly talked hours & hours to each other on the phone (were in a long-distance relationship). But after a while it got to the point where we would get on the phone and couldn't think of anything to talk about. Now we've just gotten to where we just text and don't talk on the phone anymore. And I still feel the same way I always have with him & also we have never gotten into an argument. I guess I just want to know what do you think about my relationship? Is it good? Should I be worried? I don't know right now I'm kinda confused. Could it be possible we talked about everything?

Amy: Dear Anonymous, People definitely start to run low on things to talk about after a while. I think most relationships go through something similar to yours, where the beginning is full of long conversations and tons of talking and then things start to taper off. This does not mean anything bad about your relationship. In the beginning you were getting to know each other; a year later, you know quite a bit. That's all there is to it. Less background info is needed when you talk about anything because you're starting from a place of deeper friendship and familiarity. Add in the fact that you were in a long-distance relationship where all you had was the telephone and now you aren't (I'm assuming, based on your question), and it all sounds extremely normal to me.

That said, I'm not sure what you mean when you say, "we've gotten to where we just text and don't talk on the phone anymore". But you do spend time together in person, face-to-face, right? If so, why would you feel like you need to also talk on the phone? If you are spending enough time physically together, relying on texting as way to set up plans, say a quick hello, etc. isn't necessarily any better or worse than doing those things by phone. If, however, you aren't spending a lot of time together in person, a texting-dominant relationship may not be the best thing for the two of you moving forward. If this is the case, just make an effort to call more. It's a habit you'll to break back into but it's very do-able. This doesn't mean you need to go back to having multiple-hour phone conversations, it just means you try to connect voice to voice a little more often.

When you mention that you've never gotten into an argument, I'm not sure if you mean this as a good or bad thing. Disagreeing in relationships is par for the course. Never arguing may imply that you have stopped communicating on some level. I can't tell from your brief question--this is something you will have to evaluate for yourself. I don't want to give you another thing to worry about. Just the opposite, my advice to you is to stop your relationship based on how much time you spend on the phone and just trust your instincts about how the relationship is going. You'll have to try to look at things objectively and judge for yourself whether you think you could use some deeper communication. If so, it's easy to do. Just begin building up the habit of connecting a little more each day and the rest will fall into place. And remember, it doesn't have to be the way it was in the very beginning.

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