Back to the basics of Online Dating
Today we are launching a blog that we hope will assist our members, and members of other dating services, in finding real success with online dating. What sparked the idea of creating this blog, and the blogs that will soon follow, was quite simple: Our members have been asking for it.
Let's start with some numbers. According to research, there are approximately 45 million people using online dating services. The numbers continue to skyrocket as people grow more and more comfortable with the concept of using the web to meet people. Is it just good marketing that brings people to online dating sites or does it really work? The answer to these questions is that it's a bit of both. Online dating services are responsible for over 120 thousand marriages and millions of dates per year. The stats that aren't so openly discussed are the amount of people who actually don't find success online and that number accounts for a majority of users. Now as much as I would love to dive into the details of these dirty little stats, I'll save it for another blog and try to stay on track.
Marketing has played the most significant role in the spike of online dating. Research studies show that online dating sites are getting visits that account for approximately a third of the 100 million total singles in the US. If you spend more than 10 minutes surfing the web, there's a very good chance that you'll encounter an ad or two displaying an online dating service, that for many singles spending yet another evening alone, may very well find a little too hard to resist. After all, it's ok to look, right? Similarly, if you spend more than an hour a day watching the tube, you're almost guaranteed to have an online dating service flaunt their product by showing people how easy it is to find that special someone. You're just one of their millions of singles. So why is it that so many people struggle when it comes to using online dating services? Who's to blame when a service guarantees success and then fails to deliver?
Online dating companies have created a sense of false reality when it comes to dating. What is being advertised across the web, on the tube and on most dating websites is that your happiness awaits just beyond the registration page. Most people get the sense that when they become members, their inbox will soon be flooded with messages that would require more time filtering than actually exchanging messages. That when you become a member, finding the person of your dreams will be much easier to attain than it would be in real life. The truth is that there are no short-cuts in finding that special someone, there are only opportunities. What most people don't understand is that online dating is just a first step in what may very well become a very long dating process. It's no different than meeting someone at a lounge or through a friend - it all takes time and effort.
There are neither magic wands nor algorithms powerful enough to identify chemistry better than an individual’s own brain and instincts. Online dating works for those who take the time to make it work. Picture if you will, online dating as a virtual lounge with millions people in attendance. The people are real and finding a suitable partner is the shared goal. With that in mind, think about what works and what doesn’t work in a real life scenario. Using a cheesy pick-up line rarely works in real life scenarios - the same holds true with online dating. Sitting in the shadows and hoping the person you've been eyeing the entire evening would come over and initiate conversation rarely happens - the same holds true with online dating - you have to be active and you have to be yourself. Think of something nice to say, show them that you have a great sense of humor, hold a good conversation and get to know the person on the other end by asking questions. It's time to go back to the basics, my friends.
Over the next several weeks, we will go into the details of how to make the most out of your online dating experience. We will craft up some golden rules and dive into the granular details of successful online dating. Until then, remember to be yourself, stick to the basics, have fun and be safe.
Let's start with some numbers. According to research, there are approximately 45 million people using online dating services. The numbers continue to skyrocket as people grow more and more comfortable with the concept of using the web to meet people. Is it just good marketing that brings people to online dating sites or does it really work? The answer to these questions is that it's a bit of both. Online dating services are responsible for over 120 thousand marriages and millions of dates per year. The stats that aren't so openly discussed are the amount of people who actually don't find success online and that number accounts for a majority of users. Now as much as I would love to dive into the details of these dirty little stats, I'll save it for another blog and try to stay on track.
Marketing has played the most significant role in the spike of online dating. Research studies show that online dating sites are getting visits that account for approximately a third of the 100 million total singles in the US. If you spend more than 10 minutes surfing the web, there's a very good chance that you'll encounter an ad or two displaying an online dating service, that for many singles spending yet another evening alone, may very well find a little too hard to resist. After all, it's ok to look, right? Similarly, if you spend more than an hour a day watching the tube, you're almost guaranteed to have an online dating service flaunt their product by showing people how easy it is to find that special someone. You're just one of their millions of singles. So why is it that so many people struggle when it comes to using online dating services? Who's to blame when a service guarantees success and then fails to deliver?
Online dating companies have created a sense of false reality when it comes to dating. What is being advertised across the web, on the tube and on most dating websites is that your happiness awaits just beyond the registration page. Most people get the sense that when they become members, their inbox will soon be flooded with messages that would require more time filtering than actually exchanging messages. That when you become a member, finding the person of your dreams will be much easier to attain than it would be in real life. The truth is that there are no short-cuts in finding that special someone, there are only opportunities. What most people don't understand is that online dating is just a first step in what may very well become a very long dating process. It's no different than meeting someone at a lounge or through a friend - it all takes time and effort.
There are neither magic wands nor algorithms powerful enough to identify chemistry better than an individual’s own brain and instincts. Online dating works for those who take the time to make it work. Picture if you will, online dating as a virtual lounge with millions people in attendance. The people are real and finding a suitable partner is the shared goal. With that in mind, think about what works and what doesn’t work in a real life scenario. Using a cheesy pick-up line rarely works in real life scenarios - the same holds true with online dating. Sitting in the shadows and hoping the person you've been eyeing the entire evening would come over and initiate conversation rarely happens - the same holds true with online dating - you have to be active and you have to be yourself. Think of something nice to say, show them that you have a great sense of humor, hold a good conversation and get to know the person on the other end by asking questions. It's time to go back to the basics, my friends.
Over the next several weeks, we will go into the details of how to make the most out of your online dating experience. We will craft up some golden rules and dive into the granular details of successful online dating. Until then, remember to be yourself, stick to the basics, have fun and be safe.
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| Q: Is the recession having a negative effect on your dating lifestyle? | |
| Yes | |
| No | |
Nov 16, 2009 10:51 AM PST